We are very sorry. Here is what happens next, in order. It is shorter than you expect, and most of it is not yours to do.
Have the death pronounced
In a hospital or a care home this is done for you. At home, call hospice if they are involved, and otherwise call 911 so paramedics or police can attend. Nothing else can proceed until this has happened.
At any hour. We will arrange the Shomer and the Taharah, and start on everything else. You do not need to have decided anything, chosen anybody, or know what you want — that is the point of the call.
Let someone else make the other calls
Ask one person — a sibling, a cousin, a friend — to tell everybody else. You should not spend the next four hours repeating the worst sentence of your life to thirty people.
Do not let the body be washed or embalmed
Say clearly, to whoever is present: no embalming, no cosmetic preparation, no viewing, no autopsy without asking us first. This one sentence is the most important thing you will say today, and it is much easier to say now than to undo later.
Eat something, and let people help
Before the funeral, a mourner is exempt from almost every religious obligation precisely so that they can deal with this. Accepting food, lifts and childcare is not weakness; in Jewish law it is more or less the expectation.
Helpful to have when you call
None of this is required. If you do not have it, call anyway and we will work it out together. Tick what you have; the ticks stay on this device only.
0 of 10 done
What we take off your hands
The Taharah and the Shomer. The mortuary and the transport. The cemetery, the plot, and whether one already exists in the family. The rabbi and the timing of the funeral. The death certificate and the paperwork behind it. The Minyan at the Shiva house, morning and evening, so that Kaddish can be said. And the questions you have not thought of yet, which is most of them.
What to say no to
Embalming. It is invasive, it is not required by California law in these circumstances, and it is not done.
Cosmetic preparation and any kind of viewing.
An expensive casket. A Jewish burial uses a plain wooden aron with no metal in it.
A sealed vault or liner, wherever the cemetery permits it to be omitted.
Cremation. If that decision has already been made or was asked for in a will, please still call — there is more room than people think, and this page is written without any judgment in it.
Questions people ask at this moment
It is the middle of the night. Should I wait until morning to call?
No. Call now. This line is answered at any hour and there are things — the Shomer, the timing of the burial — that are easier to arrange at three in the morning than at nine.
The death happened at home. What has to happen first?
A death has to be legally pronounced. If hospice is involved, call hospice. If not, call 911 so that paramedics or police can attend. A death in a hospital or care facility is pronounced there and you do not need to do anything about it.
The funeral home is asking me to decide things. What can wait?
Almost all of it. Embalming, cosmetic preparation, a viewing, an expensive casket and a burial vault are all things you can decline, and none of them belong in a Jewish burial. If you are not sure what you are agreeing to, say you will call back, and then call us.
Can I still have a Taharah if I have already called a funeral home?
Yes. We arrange the Taharah for your loved one even where another funeral provider is handling everything else. Tell us who you are working with and we will speak to them directly.
Does the burial really have to be tomorrow?
Soon, yes — Jewish law treats burial as a debt to the person who has died and does not want it left outstanding. But delay is permitted where it serves their honor: waiting for a child to fly in, obtaining the right grave, or because Shabbat or a festival falls in between. Say what you need and it will be worked out.