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Coming for the first time
Nobody will know it’s your first time — unless you tell them
The thing that stops most people is not belief. It is not knowing when to stand, what to hold, or whether somebody is going to ask them to do something in front of a room. So here is the whole thing, in order.
Parking
There is a car park at the building and street parking around it. Come whenever you get here — people arrive throughout the morning and nobody is counting.
Nothing is required before you come. You do not need to tell us, book anything, or bring anything. If you would like somebody to look out for you, ring 408-910-2034 or send a message and say it is your first time — somebody will find you at the door and sit with you. A surprising number of people do this, and it makes the morning much easier.
Times are on the schedule page. It is worth glancing at, but you do not need to arrive at the start.
Walking in
The door is open and there is no desk to check in at. Nobody will stop you, ask your name, or hand you a form.
A kippah, if you need one
Men take one from the basket by the entrance if they are not already wearing one. Married women often cover their hair, and nobody minds either way.
Where to sit
Anywhere is fine, and the back is completely respectable — plenty of regulars sit there.
Men and women sit separately during services. If you are coming together, we will make sure each of you finds a comfortable place to sit and knows what is happening.
What happens
A prayer book is on the shelf or somebody will hand you one. Every page has Hebrew on one side and English on the other. There is no announcement of page numbers most of the time — ask your neighbor, who will be pleased to be asked, or just read the English at your own pace. Following along exactly is not the point.
The morning goes in three parts:
- The service itself, mostly quiet, with the room standing and sitting at various points. Stand when everyone else does, or stay seated — both are fine.
- The Torah reading, when a scroll is taken out and read aloud. People are called up by name; you will not be, unless you have asked.
- A short talk from the Rabbi in English on the week’s portion. Usually the part first-timers say they enjoyed.
Kiddush — this is the real part
Everybody sits down together: wine, Challah, food, and an hour of talking. This is where a Shul actually happens, and it is the reason to stay even if the service was not for you. You will be asked who you are and where you have come from, and that is friendliness rather than an interview.
One practical thing. Phones are traditionally not used on Shabbat, so you will notice nobody has one out. If yours rings, nothing happens except that you turn it off. Nobody will say anything — and if they do, they are wrong.
Questions people ask before coming
Do I need to be a member, or buy a ticket?
No. There is no membership, no ticket, and nothing to pay — not on an ordinary Shabbat and not on Rosh Hashanah or Yom Kippur either. Walk in.
Will anyone make me read or speak?
No. Nobody is called on. If you would like an aliyah — being called to the Torah — you can ask, and plenty of people never do. Sitting quietly for an hour is a completely normal way to be at a service.
What should I wear?
What you would wear to a friend’s parents’ house for lunch. Men usually wear a collared shirt, women a skirt or dress, but nobody is checking and nobody will say anything. There are kippot at the door if you want one.
Is it all in Hebrew?
The prayers and the Torah reading are, but every prayer book and Chumash has English on the facing page, and the Rabbi speaks in English. You will not be lost for long.
Can I bring my children?
Yes, and please do. Children move around, talk, and go in and out. This is not a room where a noisy child is a problem.
Do I have to stay for the whole thing?
No. Come late, leave early, step out and come back — all of it is ordinary and nobody keeps score.
I am not observant. Is that a problem?
No, and it will not come up. Nobody is going to interrogate you about what you keep or do not keep. Come exactly as you are.
What about driving on Shabbat?
Driving is prohibited on Shabbat. If you live too far to walk, tell us and we will sort it out — we keep beds for guests, families here host all the time, and coming before Shabbat starts and staying is the ordinary way it is done. And to say the thing that matters most plainly: you are welcome through our doors however you come. Nobody is watching the car park and nobody will ask.
Come this Shabbat
If you would rather not walk in cold, tell us and somebody will be expecting you. If you would rather slip in unnoticed, do that instead — both are completely normal here.
Tell us you are coming
Say it is your first time, which Shabbat, and how many of you. Somebody will watch for you at the door. Not required, and never a fuss.