Lifecycle

Lifecycles

A birth, a Bar Mitzvah, a wedding, a death, the year that follows one. Whatever has happened, there is a guide to it and a person to call. No membership required — every Jew is a member.

What has happened, or is about to

Whichever of these you came for, there is a guide written out at length — what actually happens, in order, and what nobody will ask of you.

A baby is on the way, or has arrived

Mazal tov. The Bris on the eighth day, a naming for a daughter, the redemption of a firstborn, a first haircut — and choosing a Hebrew name. Call early: eight days arrive quickly.

Brit Milah · Baby naming · Pidyon Haben · Upsherin

A child turning twelve or thirteen

What the day actually is, what the child does, and how far ahead to start — six months is usual and a year is better.

Bar Mitzvah · Bat Mitzvah · Tefillin · The aliyah

Getting married

The Chuppah, the ketubah, the ring and the glass — and everything a couple has to arrange first. The Shabbat before, the groom has an aliyah and the shul makes a Kiddush.

Chuppah · Ketubah · Ufruf

Somebody has died

The first hours: who to call, what not to agree to yet, and why a Jewish burial happens quickly. If a family is weighing burial against cremation, that is written out too.

The first calls · Burial · Chevra Kadisha

Sitting Shiva

The seven days — what happens in the house, what is set aside, and what to say when you visit one. Written for the family and for the people coming.

The seven days · Visiting · The meal of consolation

The year after, and every year after that

Sheloshim, eleven months of Kaddish, setting the stone, and the Yahrzeit that comes back each year. We help find a Minyan so Kaddish can be said.

Sheloshim · Kaddish · The stone · Yahrzeit

Somebody is ill, or having a hard time

A visit, a lift to an appointment, meals for a house that cannot cook this week, or somebody to sit with. You do not have to explain yourself first.

Hospital visits · Meals · A person to talk to

Making a home Jewish

A Mezuzah on your own door, a kitchen you can keep, Shabbat as something that happens rather than something you read about, and a shelf of books worth having.

Mezuzah · Kashrut · Shabbat · Tzedakah

You never had a Bar or Bat Mitzvah

It is not too late and it is not unusual. People do this at thirty, at sixty, and at eighty — quietly, in front of ten people, or with the whole family there.

Adult Bar Mitzvah · Adult Bat Mitzvah · Starting later

Becoming Jewish

What the process actually involves, said accurately rather than encouragingly — because somebody considering it deserves the real shape of it before they begin.

Conversion · Beis din · Mikvah

Call 408-910-2034 Book a time with a rabbi Find a Hebrew date Find a Minyan for Kaddish

Questions people ask first

Do we have to be members?

No. There is no membership at Chabad, so there is nothing to join first. Families come having never set foot in a synagogue, and families come having belonged to three.

What does it cost?

Cost has not been the reason a family here went without, so if it is a worry, say so on the phone. It is handled quietly.

I do not know which one fits.

Then call or write and say what is happening in your own words. The office will point you to the right guide, and to a person.

Somebody has just died. Where do I start?

The page for the first hours is linked just below. It has a number that is answered at any hour.

A death has occurred: what to do first

For a birthday, an anniversary, or a Yahrzeit, many families sponsor the Kiddush that Shabbat — the whole community eats and the name is announced. We can also work out the Hebrew date and write to you before it comes round.

Get in touch

Tell us what’s coming up, and we’ll reach out to help plan it.

Or call us, email Info@chabadalmaden.com, or book a time to sit down with a rabbi.