Mourning

Kaddish & mourning

Support for saying Kaddish, sitting shiva, and observing a yahrzeit.

Kaddish is traditionally recited daily for eleven months after a parent's passing, and again each year on the Yahrzeit (the Hebrew-calendar anniversary of the passing) — for any close relative. It requires a minyan of ten. Our Shabbat morning service is one place to say it; call us and we'll help arrange a weekday Minyan too.

Sign up for a yahrzeit reminder — we’ll write a week before and again the day before, so the date never slips past you.

If you cannot get to a Minyan every day

Eleven months of morning and evening Minyan is a real commitment, and for many people it is simply not possible — a job, a commute, illness, or no Minyan within reach. This is an old problem and there is an old answer: Kaddish can be arranged to be said on your behalf, daily through the first year and then each year on the Yahrzeit, with the Yahrzeit date sent to the family in advance.

We arrange this through the Chevra Kadisha, and the plans and their prices are set out in full — arranging for Kaddish to be said. There is no awkwardness in the question; it is asked here often.

Sitting Shiva or planning a funeral

We’re here for every step — the Taharah, a Shomer, the Rabbi, the mortuary, the plot, a kosher aron, meals, and a Minyan in the Shiva house so that Kaddish can be said. We run the Bay Area Chevra Kadisha ourselves. Call any time, day or night: 408-910-2034.

Written out at length

• A death has occurred — the first hours in order, and one number that answers at any hour.
• When someone dies — the first hours: who to call, what not to agree to yet, the chevra kadisha, and why burial is quick.
• Shiva — the seven days, what a shiva house is like, and what to say if you are the one visiting.
• The year of mourning — sheloshim, the eleven months, what to do when you cannot get to a Minyan, setting the stone, and the Yahrzeit.
• Burial or cremation — if your family is weighing that question now.
• Yizkor — the memorial prayer, four times a year.